Laws of the Natural Universe

[MORTARDUDE]

Laws of the Natural universe
>>
>>Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your
>>nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
>>
>>Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
>>accessible corner.
>>
>>Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly
>>proportional to the stupidity of your act.
>>
>>Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy
>>signal.
>>
>>Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you
>>had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
>>
>>Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in
>>will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)
>>
>>Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone
>>rings.
>>
>>Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know
>>increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
>>
>>Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't
>>work, it will.
>>
>>Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to
>>the reach.
>>
>>Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the
>>aisle arrive last.
>>
>>Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss
>>will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
>>
>>Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room,
>>they
>>will have adjacent lockers.
>>
>>Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of
>>landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the
>>newness
>>and cost of the carpet/rug.
>>
>>Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
>>
>>Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you
>>are
>>talking about.
>>
>>Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's really ugly.
>>
>>Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
>>
>>Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they
>>will
>>stop making it.
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