Life Aboard a Submarine

[82Rigger]

Remember those great submarine movies like "Run Silent, Run Deep" and "Ice Station Zebra"?

Ever wonder what life aboard a submarine is really like?

Here's how you can experience life aboard a submarine right in your own home:


1. Spend as much time as you can indoors during the daytime. Stay out of direct sunlight. Go to work only before sunrise and come home after sunset.


2. Paint everything around you Sea Foam Green (Navy NSN Green, no substitutions) or Off-White to be sure you are living in a clean, happy environment. Every Friday, manned only with a bucket, sponge, and a greeny, clean one area over and over, even if it is already spotless.


3. Eat food that you can only get out of a can and requires water in order to eat it. Get rid of all fresh fruits and vegetables.


4. Repeat back everything spoken to you, followed by "Aye".


5. Sit in your car for six hours at a time with the motor running. Keep hands on the wheel. But don?t leave your driveway. Log readings of your oil pressure, water temperature, speedometer and odometer every 15 minutes.


6. Put Lube Oil in your humidifier instead of water. Set it on high.


7. Buy a trash compactor; use it only once a week. Store the rest of the garbage in your bathroom.


8. Don?t watch movies except in the middle of the night. Have your family vote on which movie to watch, then show a different one.


9. Have the paperboy give you a regulation Navy haircut.


10. Take hourly readings on your water and your electric meters.


11. Sleep with your dirty laundry.


12. Set your lawn mower in the middle of the living room while it is running.


13. Invite guests but don?t prepare enough food for everyone. Serve food cold. Limit the time they sit at the table to 10 minutes.


14. Wake up at midnight every night and make a peanut butter sandwich using stale bread. Better yet, make your own bread but cut 3 inch thick slices and use these. Optional: warm up some canned Ravioli or soup.


15. Make your family a menu for the week without knowing what food is in the cabinets.


16. Set your alarm clock for various times at night; adjust the volume to the maximum. When it goes off, jump out of bed, get your clothes on as fast as you can, run outside and grab the garden hose. Then go back to bed and do it all again when the alarm goes off again.


17. Once a month take apart every appliance completely and then put them back together.


18. Use 15 scoops of coffee per pot and allow it to sit for 5 to six hours before drinking it.


19. Invite about 85 people you really don?t like and have them stay for a couple of months.


20. Have a fluorescent lamp installed under your coffee table and lie underneath it to read books.


21. Put a complicated lock on your basement door and wear the key around your neck on a special chain.


22. When making cakes, prop up one side of the pan when cooking. Use extra icing to level it off.


23. Every so often, yell "EMERGENCY DEEP!". Run into the kitchen and sweep all pots, pans and dishes off of the counters onto the floor. Then yell at your wife for not having the kitchen area properly stowed for sea.


24. Put on your stereo headphones (don?t plug them in), go to the stove and stand in front of it. Say (to no one in particular) "Stove manned and ready!". Stay there for 3 to 4 hours. Say (once again and to no one in particular) "Stove secured!", then roll up your headphone cord and put them away.


25. Pull out your refrigerator and clean behind it for 4 hours and then put it back when you are done. Have your wife come and check every 10 minutes with a flashlight to see how you are doing.


26. Fix-up a shelf in your closet that will serve as your bunk for the next six months. Take the door off of the hinges and replace them with curtains. While asleep, have family members shine a flashlight in your eyes at random intervals and say either "Sign this!" or "Sorry, wrong rack!"

[Tamaroa]

That's funny!! :-) I sent it to my son, the submariner in training, 6 months down 8 months to go before he gets assigned to his first sub.

Bill.

[39mto39g]

This would most likely apply to a diesel sub, But we don't even shot at them anymore.
The subs of today are pretty special and roomy.
My paper boy told me this.

Ron

[BLUEHAWK]

I've only been on two subs, the U-505 Nazi sub at the Museum of Science & Industry in Chicago, and our own BOATFISH in Honolulu bay... it amazes me how small and crowded those old timers were, absolutely amazing how anything, much less serious warfare could be conducted without just flat having to walk over somebody to get to a valve... and the idea of being cramped underwater for long periods is not appealing either. I'd like to get aboard a modern sub and see if there's a meaningful difference in space allowed.

From films and photos I've seen, it looks like the new subs are MUCH much more roomy, and I guess advances in air handling equipment have made a big difference too.

But, the thought of a hull crushing far beneath the waves gives me a lot of respect for the courage of submariners today and yesterday.

[39mto39g]

Two guys in a sub went and took a little trip down and it went bump on the bottom there were at the Mariona Trench, 35,000 feet down. No thanks.

Ron

[kmac7847]

Life on a surface tincan can be rather trying at times but the thought of not being able to walk down the side of the ship and light a smoke and get away from the other 340 guys is unimagineable!

Kevin