heh heh heh

[thedrifter]

What a Clown........

[thedrifter]

???????????

[Marissa]

FROG
There was this little boy about 12 years old walking
down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a string
behind him. He comes up to the doorstep of a house of ill
repute and knocks on the door. When the madam came to
answer it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted.
He said he wanted to have sex with one of the women inside,
and wasn't leaving until he got it. The Madam figured why not,
so she told him to come in.
Once he got in, she told him to pick any of the girls he
liked. He asked her if any of the girls had any diseases,
and of course the madam said no.
But he said he'd heard that all the men were talking about
having to go to the hospital and get shots after making love
with Mable, and THAT was the girl he wanted. Since the
little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for
it, the madam told him to go upstairs and go to the first
room on the right. So he headed down the hall dragging
the squashed frog behind him.
Ten minutes later he came back down, still dragging the
frog, paid the madam, and headed out the door, at
which time the madam stopped him and asked him just why he
picked the only girl she had in the place with a disease,
instead of one of the others.
He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home,
my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me
at home with a baby-sitter.
When they leave, I'm going to have sex with my baby-sitter,
who happens to be very fond of cute little boys, and then
she will get the disease that I just caught.
When mom and dad get back, dad will take the baby-sitter
home, and on the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones,
and he'll catch the disease.
Then when dad gets home from the baby-sitter, he and mom
will go to bed and they'll have sex, and mom will catch it.
In the morning when dad goes to work, the milkman will
deliver the milk, and he'll have a quickie with mom, and
he'll catch it, and HE'S the son-of-a-bitch who ran over my
FROG!!"

[thedrifter]

A daughter comes home from the peace corps in Africa and surprises her mother who is in the process of lighting the Friday night candles and serving the matzoh ball soup.

The mother is so thrilled that she can't stop hugging and kissing her daughter. Finally she says, "Sit down, darling. Tell me all about what you were doing."

Her daughter says, "Mom, I got married."

"Oy, mazel tov," says the mother. "How could you do that without telling me? What's he like? What does he do? Where is he?"

"He's waiting outside on the porch while I tell you." said the daughter. "What are you talking about? Bring him in. I want to meet my new son-in-law."

The daughter brings him in and to her consternation the mother sees a black man standing before her wearing a big grin, a feathered cod piece, an enormous head dress, animal tooth beads and he is holding a very tall spear in an upright position.

The mother grabs her daughter, slaps her back and forth on both cheeks and screams, "Dummy! Stupid! Idiot ... I said a RICH doctor!"

Sempers,

Roger

[thedrifter]

How Dogs and Men Are the Same

Both take up too much space on the bed.

Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.

Both are threatened by their own kind.

Both like to chew wood.

Both mark their territory.

Both are bad at asking you questions.

Neither tells you what's bothering them.

Both tend to smell riper with age.

The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.

Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.

Neither does any dishes.

Both fart shamelessly.

Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.

Both like dominance games.

Both are suspicious of the postman.

Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.

Neither understands what you see in cats.

Sempers,

Roger

[thedrifter]

A rather bookish young man goes into a *****house to seek entertainment. He goes up to the madam and says, "Madam, I'd like a woman for the evening."

The Madam says, "Sir, I'm afraid all the girls are taken tonight, but if you'd care to, I'm available."

So the guy and the madam go into a bedroom and get undressed. As he takes off his clothes, she looks him over and she notices that, flaccid, he's only two inches long. But then the guy says, "Rise, Caesar!" And his thing rises to a full 12 inches.

So they have a great time, and after about five hours even the madam is very impressed. "Sir," she says, "this has been one of the most pleasurable evenings of my life. I was wondering if you'd mind if I called the girls in so they could have a look at you. You're really something special, you know."

But the guy says, "No, madam, no. I have come to bury Caesar, not to praise him."

Sempers,

Roger

[thedrifter]

It seems that when the good Lord was making the world, he called Man aside and bestowed upon him 20 years of normal sex life. Man was horrified, but the Creator refused to budge.

Then the Lord called the Monkey and gave him 20 years. "But I don't need 20 years," said the Monkey. "Ten years is plenty." Man spoke up and said, "May I have the other 10 years?" The Monkey agreed.

The Lord called the Lion next and also gave him 20 good years. The Lion also only wanted 10, so again Man spoke up, "May I have your other ten years?" "Of course," said the Lion.

Then came the Donkey, who was also granted 20 years. Like the others, 10 was more than enough. Man again asked for the spare ten years, and he got them.

This explains why Man has 20 years of normal sex life, 10 years of monkeying around, 10 years of lion bout it, and 10 years of making an ass out of himself.

Sempers,

Roger

[thedrifter]

Car Phone

[thedrifter]

What else is new....

[Sgt_Tropo]

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