heh heh heh

[thebrad]

!

[thebrad]

!!

[thebrad]

!!!

[thebrad]

!!!!

[JeffL]

10. Your tinted windows are also known as Hefty Garbage Bags.

9. The car reaches its optimum speed when going downhill.

8. The hi-tech stereo system often requires a new needle.

7. The rear-view mirror says, "Objects in Mirror Are Better
Than This Piece of Junk."

6. The odometer on the dashboard is not as sophisticated as
the everyday abacus.

5. Traffic Watch warns other drivers what highway you're
taking.

4. The sticker on the windshield says, "Batteries Not
Included."

3. You fill up the tank with Unleaded Coals.

2. You can only go to restaurants that offer Valet Pushing.

1. When you approach hitchhikers, they put their thumbs down.

[JeffL]

"Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"

"Duuuuuude! Bummer!"

"Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n."

"Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."

"We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery."

"I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."

"In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."

"Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"

"Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."

"Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."

[thedrifter]

E-MAIL GAMES
Think of a letter between
A and W.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Repeat it
out loud as
you scroll down.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Keep going . . .
Don't stop . . ..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Think of an
animal
that begins
with that letter.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Repeat it
out loud
as you
scroll down.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Think of
either a man's/woman's
name
that
begins
with the
last letter
in the
animals name
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Almost
there........
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Now
count out
the letters
in that name
on the fingers
of the hand
you are not
using to
scroll down.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Take the
hand you
counted with
and hold it out
in front of you
at face level
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Look at your
palm
very closely
and
notice
the
lines
in
your
hand
.
.
.
.
Do the lines
take the
form of the
first letter
in the
persons name?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. Of course not.......
.
.
.
.Now smack
yourself in the head, get a life,
and
quit playing
stupid
e-mail games!
.
.
.
.
Don't
tell the secret
to others,
just send
them this e-mail!

Smile & have
a great day!

[Keith_Hixson]

The IRS = Theirs when combined.

Keith

[JeffL]

I did that, drifter, and my message said:

[Advisor]

A prisoner escapes from the penitentiary where he had been for 15 years.
As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it. He finds a young
couple in bed. He gets the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair, ties the
woman to the bed, gets on top of her, nuzzles her neck, then gets up, and
goes to the bathroom.

While he is there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is a prisoner,
look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in prison, and has not
seen a woman in years. He's desperate and dangerous, if he gets angry
he might kill us. I saw the way he kissed your neck, if he wants sex,
don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, give him satisfaction.
Be strong, honey. I love you"

To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering
in my ear. He told me that he found you very sexy, and asked if we kept any
Vaseline in the bathroom......Be strong, honey. Love you too..."