Flash back in the MRI Machine

[Robert Ryan]

Hat to get the MRI done on my neck today since last week it wasn't working right. The MRI started at 8:00 a.m. this mornig. It was scheduled to take about 20 minutes. The machine makes a a lot of noise when it taking imagaes I guess. One sound sound set me off. The sound was dull steady static that sounded like a 50 Cal in the distance, the nosie sarted to get louder, before I new it , I was no longer in the MRI machine, I was in the Highlands, ducking and running. I didn't know it, but I was trying crawl out of the machine, I was yelling, Get down, move, move, I had broken out in a sweat and my t-shirt was soaked, I was still trying to crawl out the MRI machine. The technican had entered the room, but I didn't know it, he either pulled me the rest of the way of the machine, or had moved the machine where I was no longer in it, I didn't know, he was telling me to stay still, calm down, I guess he asked me what is wrong. I was still yellingto get down, I jumped up bumped into the tech who fell down, I was on the floor still yelling move, move, get down, I didn't know it but I had the teck by his shirt collar was pulling him along with me. I didn't know it but another tech had entered the room, I guess he heard the yellilng, and called for assitance. I started to look up and the lights on the celing were blurry. I either started realized what had happened. I said "Oh My God, Oh My God, what happened, what happened. The techs helped me into a chair and asked me if I was alright, I still shaking, I was still sweating, and the room is kept cool because of the Machine. I was then taken to see Dr. Downhill (my shirnk at the VA), I was with him from about 8:30 a.m. and it was 10:30 a.m. when I was finally able to talk to him without babbling about what happened, but I was still shaking. They contacted my daugther about 10:45 a.m. Dr. Downhill flet that I was now able to go home but he didn't want me to drive home. So my daughter and her husband came and drove me home. They stayed with me until about 12:30 a.m. I am sitll a little shaky but I had to get here and talk to someone about it. I called Ken from my PTSD group we spoke for about 25 minutes he helped me a lot. I don't know if it was the sound the machine made, or being in the Machine that set me off. The beast is still alive and well within me. Seems it doesn't matter how long I have been in treatment or what meds I take, this can still happen, it's just that it has not happened like this in a long time. Thank all of you for being here so I can get this off my chest. I really physcially tired I hope I can take a nap without havng to revist this.