Closeure,...

[SEATJERKER]

... everyone's alive?, and I'm not in jail,...

...I think security had a standing "no show face" order,...

...seems the runways were well cleared, and lighted for my arrival, Carte blanche in ways that are not the norm as it's been before,...

...sometimes it's so diffuclt to explain why "people " have the feelings they do, and I at this time have just gotten to the point after being denied, and cast aside for so long by "the system" that I feel like "the man without a country" especially being from "the home of uncle snuffy", however after again yesterday, laying "it" all out again, and hopefully for the last time openly, offically, that I won't have to do it again,...

...was greeted ever so promptly, and I believe they had an understanding from last week that I wasn't going to "take" any crud from anyone, I don't care if they liked my attitude , or not, yesterday was my day, my last shot at walking out into the water, and finding some redemption and shedding some of the baggage that has built up over so many years, 8 tracks wear out after looping too tight, and I'm none the better,...

...If it wasn't for my other PTSD counseler, and friend advising me to do so for my kids, I wouldn't have done it, period,...

...The Doctor knew what she was in for long before I arrived, and she spent an hour, and a half with me in a very small office, started with the usual questions?, and proceeded to try to engulf the rest of the prior 25 years I layed on her, she seemed geniunely concerned which hasn't been the norm in the past, and by the time I got most of "it" out, she was asking for supporting documentation, and I had her just as screwed up as i am regarding all that happened, as a professional shrink, I could see the disbelief of how my situation was dealt with by her concern, which was reassuring, so as I pulling out paperwork out of a brief case that was blown out on both sides from being overloaded, so loaded that it wouldn't anywhere near close, and that's the way I carried it in, she commented about "seeing the burden of my quest",...

...whatever happens now is in their hands, I somewhat feel like I've thrown the ball back in their court, and now, they will have to live with it, not me... "Bits" said it best when he stated "I was cast aside by the same people that should have been there to support me in the first place", she took his report, all 4 pages of it, and portions of the rest of my bundle of proof again, and all the while raiseing eyebrows of disbelief aimed towards all that actuality of what happened during my tenure,...

...I never wanted the key to the city, but I didn't expect to be thrown away like an old pair of socks either, now it's time for them to clean their dirty laundry, or live with the stink of it,...

... Va.'s at least working on it,... as where the AFBCMR has flat out without saying it, said "your NAME isn't on anything" so, f%#k U,................. No F%#k them,... if they cannot accept the sworn written word of the Chief of Police on offical stationary, and the written, and sworn word of a retired Marine Major, they can kiss my ass, all I ever wanted was my NAME cleared, and they can't even do that for me,...

..."came out of the bunker, and unleashed the beast",...

...

[Dragon Lady]

Curtis,
Ol'Bud, hearts and prayers are with ya! Call Andy, he might be able to help out here. Nothing beats experience in these issues.

Hang in there, you are not alone.

[MORTARDUDE]

You are not alone, ever.

Larry

[SEATJERKER]

...

...Reasons to smile today,...


...1,...

...In "L.M. Boyd's fun with facts today:


"Many people who seem overly fearful are only afraid of what they imagine. If confronted with imminent danger, they're left no time for imaginative distractions, so make superb deliberate judgements with great courage. Veterans of combat, street and war, say you never can tell who's going to play hero",..

...

...2,...

... Last year I met a guy who was on his way to Iraq named Tom, and I swapped my "Psycovets" hat with him, and Sid sent me another,... Last night I stopped on my way home from the garage to pick up a "philly" (food), and I hear his name being called up for Karriokie, and I turned around from the counter, and there he was, He looked at me, and saw the "Psycovets" hat, and realized it was me, needless to say, my food sat in a carryout tray for a couple hours, and we, and his other three returning Veteran friends had a lot to talk about,... After Welcoming them home, ther was a whole lot of solid hugs, laughter,and tears, and prayers for our fallen hero's,...

...Lot of weight off my shoulders,... got "it" out without compromise, and where ever the cards fall now, they fall, I was heard this time by someone who was totaly bi-partison, and a professional,... I feel for the first time in 25 years that someone in the "system" at least listened, and might actually care beyond lip service,...

...It has been a long journey through these last 5 years of time, and I know I've sounded like a skipping record, But in essence, during those times, I had no other choice,... but, now I have to make my own ,...

...I was on the verge 5 years ago of making some very bad deceisions, and by the grace of God, and a lot of you here, I didn't,... After being taken back under the wings of so many angels here, I have not only managed to survive, but have been accepted on a level of equality that is unmatched by any other reasoning, that is what has mattered most, and always will,...

My trip to Georgia had a bar that I thought was higher then I could see, however the acceptence by those there, whose caliber rank in the stratosphere are unsurpassed,...

...My words are limited as I cannot find the right words to say to discribe this family, other then, Thank you,... I was on a dead end collision course, and without all of you, I couldn't switch tracks,...

...David, and Bern, I would like to thank you both for this site, The service that you have provided to your fellow veterans cannot be adaquately expressed by words alone,...

...Sis,... Thanks for being our "mother hen", your compassion glows, , and a special place is reserved for you,...

...Thank you all for your help,...

..."Movin' on",...

...

[DMZ-LT]

#3 ain't no body shooting at you either. Now put this ruck back on and keep movin troop ! Really Curtis thats your hand on the wheel and your foot on the gas. We are just covering your 6 Your doing good , bro

[SEATJERKER]

...

...Although many of the original posts are in the archives, and the times to reflect, with continuence of clearing my name through the AFBCMR has had no results, and has not diminished, I have continued to search for the avenues of bringing the truths to light,...

...In searching, I came across the face that I have seen in my nightmares for 29 years, and as it seems, He hasn't changed since I first captured him in 1979, He is a wanted man still in the state of La. for possesion of cocaine, and flew the coup,...

...Have you seen this man?,...

...I have, too many times over, never knew the exact stats on him, but now I see why my arm tore out that night, standing 6' 1", and 175, he out weighted me by prob 25 lbs @ the time, and with his wingspan, it was diffucult at best as I imagine, he had a few inches of arm length on me,...

...Old hat, not to me, no ,...

...The la. DOC is looking up[ his records as we view his mug shot, and will attempt to assist me in garnering info on the original arresting officers to see if the can be of help,...

...long journey since awakining in 1999 , and my quest of redemption continues, living ""better"" as it seems these last 10 years, but @ times that the ugly head rears itself, hard to forget,...

...Now you see who I saw that fateful night,...

...

...Be Well,...

...

[SEATJERKER]

...

...

...It's been a while,...

...Packo, Thank you for your help today, Sometimes I know it is diffucult to understand why when the guy goes to the doctor hitting himself in the head with the hammer, he doesn't stop,...

...Self vindication from all those that doubted you, or dismissed your truth's disclaiming your involvement in a life threatening, and life saving situation from so many years ago,...

...Thank you all for being there for me down the line, and further down the road,...

...Recieved this today, and for what it is worth, I will send it to the AFBMCR for their review, and if after all of this, if it isn't good enough, Oh Well! I did my best for the United States Air Force during my time in service, and I did my Duty that night off base while saving lives,...

...There will never be "true closeure" in it's entirity for many of us, but with this, I can let go of some of the past with the fact that after so long, one letter from my Colonel affirms a long forgotten night by many,...

...Curtis' "The PTSD Survivor",...

...

[coachman]

Curtis DO NOT LET THE BASTARDS WIN, I will pray for you and I offer what assistance I can to help you thru this, e-mail me and send me your number I will call you.

Coachman Vietnam Vet.

[Packo]

We can't read what you posted...too small.

Fill us in on what it says. Must be from your old LT/LtCol.

Good luck but remember what I said about Tilting at Windmills.

Pack

[PHO127]

Can't read the letter