Stella Awards

[sfc_darrel]

Most of you have (continually) heard of the Darwin Awards...given annually to the individuals who do the most for mankind by removing themselves from the gene pool.

Well, now it's time to present the STELLA AWARDS...given to the individuals who win the most frivolous lawsuits ever. The STELLA AWARDS are named in honor of 81-yr-old Stella Liebeck, the woman who won $2.9 million for spilling a cup of McDonald's coffee on herself.

The following are candidates for this 'prestigious' award:

1. January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle, tripping over a toddler who was running amok inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering that the misbehaving little fellow was Ms. Robertson's own son.

2. June 1998: 19 year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

3. October 1998: Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pa., was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up, because the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on
vacation. Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found in the garage and a large bag of dry dog food. Mr. Dickson sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of a half million dollars.

4. October 1999: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The dog was on a chain in it's owner's fenced-in yard at the time. Mr. Williams was also in the fenced-in yard. The award was less than sought, because the jury felt the dog might have been provoked by Mr. Williams who, at the time, was repeatedly shooting it with a pellet gun.

5. December 1997: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pa., $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson threw it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

6. December 1997: Kara Walton of Claymont, DE, successfully sued the owner of a night club when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

And now, a recent addition:

7. Jan 2002. Police in Vermont stopped a man. After running his name, it came back that there were warrants for his arrest from Florida. Before the police could arrest him, he fled into a nearby forest (in the middle of winter). The police searched for him, but were unable to find him. Three days later, the suspect turns himself in to police and was taken to the hospital with frostbite. He ended up having several fingers and toes amputated. He is now suing the police. Why? The police didn't look for him hard enough! He stated in an interview, 'If they had searched harder, they would've found me'. He's accusing the police of dereliction of duty leading to his loss of limbs. Go figure.

NOW PLEASE, DO WE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH OUR JUDICIAL SYSTEM, OR WHAT???

[Keith_Hixson]

What kind of idiots sit on juries.
Most of these are over turned in appeals. I know that the McDonald case was cut way back (I think it was 40 or 50,000) but still way too much.

Keith

[Wazza]

I know this is an old post but I came across this little cartoon and couldn't help myself. We have a lotta problems with juries getting it right in my home State and our civil litigation is hell bent on following the US model. Compensation payouts have gone through the roof and it's so bad that insurance premiums for some events are so astronomical that the promoters can't afford them. Many histrorical events have been cancelled for this reason. Some local govt. bodies have closed sports facilities for fear of being sued.

I think jury service has already reach the scenario shown in the 'toon.

[Drywall]

The juries are made up of people who have this "us against them" mentalities. They don't seem to realize that all that money they throw at the plantiffs comes out of their and our pockets in the form of higher prices/premiums.

[reconeil]

"Makes you wonder",...HELL! Such juducial nonsense makes me downright disgusted, since I know that many of Our Leaders believe that a: "Looneytunes" Judicial System (the norm), is where accused MASS-TARGETERS & MASS-MURDERERS of non-combattants and/or innocent men, woman and children must be tried. Absolutely disgusting!

And besides, why-the-hell gift such low-life scum of the earth better treatment than given to:" America's Youth or "America's Finest" (re. The U.S. Military)". After all, The U.S. Military: "ARE STRIPPED of all their Constitutional Rights upon volunteering (drafted also at times), and then become subject solely to The U.S. Uniform Code of Military Justice".

Yeah, that's right. According to many warped political minds, foreign bums (traitors also) MUST HAVE America's Constitutional Rights. Whereas the heroes selflessly protecting us by fighting "The bums"and capturing as many as is possible, both historically and presently are denied such "Rights"

"Only in America",...no longer strikes me funny anymore.

Neil

[colmurph]

Because that's what the attorneys want! If your I.Q. is larger than your shoe size they use a pre-emptory challenge to get rid of you. You'll notice that anyone with a college degree is usually bounced on the first go around during jury selection. 90% of any case is won during jury selection. The prosecution would love to have former law enforcement officers on a jury but defense attorneys don't even want someone who knows a cop socially, on the jury. The legal system has been "Rigged" by the lawyers for years. Forget about having a "Jury of your Peers" if you are ever in trouble. You will have a jury of idiots who can be swayed by the attorneys. The next time I get called for jury duty I'm going to play dumb and see what happens. (I've NEVER served on a jury, always been bounced on the first go) My advice to anybody who DOESN"T want to serve on a jury (work problems, etc.) is to tell the attorney when they ask you "could you be impartial, and could you find a defendant guilty in a capital case?"" is to say "Sure!, he wouldn't be in the courtroom anyway, if he wasn't guilty." Guaranteed to get you bounced from any jury.

[Boats]

colmurph,

IQ larger than your shoe size!! I really like that - I'm still laughing and everyone at work thinks I'm nuts!! ha ha You've been reading Hardcores documentaries again. Between you both you guys make my day.

[Advisor]

The idiocy of the civil courts never ceases to amaze me. Don't know who is worse: the judges who allow these cases to be heard, the lawyers who file the briefs, or the juries who make the decisions.
They all seem dumber than a bunch of Florida voters!

Joe

[daniel topliffe]

joe...i sign my name to this post and
agree with all you have penned...

heaven help us all, if it does not change.