Christmas 2002

[kenmar]

FYI, it was the PETA fanatics that did him in. They put out a contract out on him right after some one sent them this photo.

In the fall of 2000 he was caught in the act of shooting Blitzen for interrupting him atdelicate momentwhile he was at the Bush ranchchecking out who was naughty or nice. He was obviously in disguise, but his red long-handles gave him away.

[janecallanan]

That was probably more of Santa than i needed to know! Kinda like seeing your Dad naked. Who wants to.

[kenmar]

What can I say. ...I got no 'couth

[PHO127]

One year both boys got bicycles, after assembling the first one when I went to put the chain on I discovered that the pedal sprockets were on one side of the bike and the wheel sprockets on the other. Simple just reverse the wheel. After putting on the chain I discovered that reversing the wheel put the coaster brake on backward. Some disassembly required.

[JeffL]

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves,"
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.

And labor conditions at the North pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.

And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the EPA
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.

Secondhand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called, "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose

And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in overdue compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,

Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.

Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.

Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.

For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.

Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;

Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."

[reeb]

PHO,

Bet you stayed up later that evening/morning.

Coffee brewing, cussing going on, and still trying to be quiet.

WHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

enough..........

[PHO127]

so hard at myself I had tears in my eyes. I remember sitting there in the middle of the floor wondering how a person could screw up a job like putting a bicycle together. I was up all night though. I got the boys up at 4am because I was so excited and wanted to see their faces with the new bikes. Thanks for the memories

[PHO127]

Thought I would share last years Christmas picture.
Junior on left, Half Newfoundland Half Great Pyrenees, Bubba in center, Newfoundland, and Rocky, a humane society special. I once told an alarm salesman that I would buy his stuff if he would try to get in the house and back out. He declined.

[janecallanan]

Getting the Christmas treethisweekend. Hopefully a Frasier Fur, my favorite. Was thinking of Christmases past as I went through the box of ornaments and checked the lights. I remembered one year, when I was small, and the trees then were coverd in about 25 pounds of tinsel. (I hate tinsel now, but don't want to start a war over it.) Getting towards the end of decorating the tree, my older sister threw a piece of tinsel on, and the whole tree fell over.Every year after that my father attached these big screws to the wall, and tied the tree up.

[DMZ-LT]

Every year when we put up the tree and start putting up the ornaments I get something in my eye when I get to this one homemade one with the picture of a little girl on it. On the back it says " As time goes by and I am not little anymore - remember me the year that I was three " I do. She is 25 now and has a beautiful heart.