"JUST TRYING TO HELP" By Dennis Miller.... blows away the peace-at-any-price crowd

[MORTARDUDE]

TRYING TO HELP" By Dennis Miller

All the rhetoric on whether or not we should go to war against Iraq has
got my little brain spinning like a top. I enjoy reading opinions
from both sides, but I've detected a hint of confusion from some of you.
Maybe this can help.

As I was reading the paper recently, I was reminded of the best advice
anyone ever gave me. He told me about the "KISS" method
("Keep It Simple, Stupid!"). So with this as a theme, I'd like to apply
this theory for those who don't quite get it. My hope is that we
can simplify things and recognize a few important facts.

Here are ten things to consider when voicing an opinion on this
important issue:

(1) Between President Bush and Saddam Hussein ... Hussein is the bad
guy.

(2) If you have faith in the Useless Nations to do the right things,
keep this in mind: the UN has Libya heading the Committee on
Human Rights and Iraq heading the Global Disarmament Committee. Do your
own math here.

(3) If you use a Google or Yahoo search and type in "French Military
Victories," don't be surprised if your computer panic's at its
inability to respond to your inquiry.

(4) If your only anti-war slogan is "No War For Oil," hire a pit bull
lawyer and sue your school district for having allowed you to slip
through the cracks and robbing you of the minimum education that any
non-troglodyte deserves.

(5) You can take this one to the bank: Saddam and bin Laden will NOT
seek UN approval before they try to kill us.

(6) Despite common belief among some, Martin Sheen is NOT the President.
He only plays one on TV.

(7) If you are anti-war and even an outright "America Basher," to bin
Laden you are still an "infidel" whom he wants dead.

(8) Be careful: if you believe in a "vast right-wing conspiracy," but
not in the danger that Hussein poses, the only job you may be
able to get is as an Ivy League college professor.

(9) Even multi-culturalists who try to browbeat us into believing that
all cultures are equally deserving of respect have trouble
explaining the past 500 year of Islam.

(10) Whether you are for or against military action, our young men and
women overseas are fighting to defend our right to speak out
on these issues. They deserve our unreserved support.