The oldest one in the room

[exlrrp]

The oldest one in the room

I guess I always think of myself as the youngest and the smallest. I was born on the cutoff date for school, a day later and I?d have been a year behind. I was always the youngest and one of the smallest in the class of ?66.I enlisted in the Army a few months after I turned 17. That made me one of the youngest soldiers throughout my enlistment. I landed in Vietnam a few months after I turned 18, making me one of the youngest GIs there. I still wasn?t old enough vote or drink alcohol in my home state when I ETSed. I grew up in a generation that valued youth above everything else (?never trust anyone over 30?) (I still don?t) I still think of myself mentally as about 30 and I try to stay in some kind of shape that reflects that.
Nowadays, sometimes when I look in the mirror, I wonder: ?who IS that old fart looking back at me??? I guess its happening to all other Vietnam Veterans, too: Once we were cutting edge, the forefront, our problems and attitudes were paramount, we were the wave makers. Now I?m starting to look like Walter Matthau in Grumpy Old Men.
Live with it, James, it?s the New You.
Ever notice how your ears and nose keep growing after the rest of the body stops? Too bad it isn?t so for the rest of your appendages.
Never felt so old as this weekend, I was taking the NFPA course for volunteer fireman.
.
I always sorta wanted to be a fireman or a cop but I elected in stead for a more glitz and glamour career like Building contractor. Well I was home at nights and the money was a lot better. And I didn?t have to shoot anybody or get shot at--you gotta pay me some REAL money to do that, you only get once for patriotism..
But I?ve always admired cops and firemen, they are some real every day heroes, in my book. I guess I always wanted to see how I would do up against the Big Tests, that?s why I went through jump school, Jungle School ,Recondo school and volunteered for Vietnam the day I turned 18.
So when I moved to Brownsville, one of the first things I did was join the Volunteer Fire Department. The BFD (funny,. Eh?) is ALL volunteer, except for the chief gets paid. I figured it would be a good way to get to know some good people quick and if I expected them to come up to The Lazy J if I had a fire, I should help with their houses if they were on fire.
So now we see the ol lrrp slouching into the room, with his usual sleazy grin, looking for the babes and thinking with his usual dash and ?lan: ?Holy Sh-t!! What have I got myself into??AGAIN???.
Walked into the class and?you guessed it?was the oldest one in the room. Even most of the instructors were old enough to be my kids.. Here?s a room full of young stud bodybuilder types and here?s the old lrrp slouching into the room thinking: ?I?m in this with children!? But they?re sure no children, they?re all older than I was when I was a lrrp
When am I gonna admit how old Ive gotten to be? Probably not even on my death bed (?But I?m so young!?)
Well, I sure looked my age in the face. Part of the trainingis class and part is exercise?and I do mean EXERCISE! They have some training towers and you do exercises through them, search and rescue yesterday. Crawling into a jumbled room dressed in that heavy turnout gear, mask and Air tank on with the hood pulled over my mask so I couldn??t see. (The exercises were blind)
Completely missed the 2 child dummies in the first exercise, although I searched the room twice (they were in a cupboard) The 2d time I found the 175lb dummy but got lost, dragged it around the room about 3 times before my partner found t the door (there was furniture scattered around) It was in the 80s and I was about to pass out and the only thing that kept me going?I am NOT making this up--was thinking: Goddam it, if Ron can do this, I can do it. Ive said before youre an inspiration, Ron we did these things twice, in one afternoon.
I was about at the fullest extension of my strength, though, right up against the edge and wouldn?t have made it out without my partner. Just like Vietnam.
I guess that?s what I really showed up to prove to myself?that I can still take it?and give it. And when I was there I realized what I liked about the Army, the paratroops, the lrrps, what I like about patriotfiles:. I?m in the company of heroes. And this is where you prove it.
There?s nothing like going up against adversity, life and death issues, to bring people together in a way like nothing else. I guess that was one of the things I;m nostalgic for the most about the Army (funny, hehehe, never thought I?d say that) That minute where youre looking death and destruction right in the face and you look at your pals and say: ?Boys: it?s Showtime!!? That time where the moment gets bigger than your fears and you stand and deliver (in this case, crawl and deliver)
I never think of myself as a hero, know my own mind too well?but it?s been my privilege to know a lot of them and hang in their company. It?s the best feeling in my life.
It makes the old fart in the mirror easier to look at

Stay good, all
James