Sex And America!

[HARDCORE]

Ran across the two ditties below, some time back. Thought y'all might enjoy them!?
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THE JOKE THAT SPARES NOBODY: A night out...
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The traveler knocked on the door of the house where a cabdriver had told him he could be sexually accommodated. An eye-level panel slid open and a female voice asked what he wanted.

"I want to get screwed," said the man.

"OK, mister, but this is a private club, so slip twenty bucks as an initiation fee through the mail slot," answered the voice.

The man did this, the panel was closed, minutes passed. Nothing happened. He began to pound on the door insistently, and the panel slid open.

"Hey," exclaimed the sport, "I want to get screwed!"

"What?" said the voice, "Again?"
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Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance...

Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink...

Only in America... do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry and a diet coke...

Only in America... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters...

Only in America... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage...

Only in America... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place...

Only in America... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight...

Only in America... are the least useful professions (professional athletes, movie actors & entertainers) paid so disproportionally much compared to people with normal jobs...

Only in America... do people buy domestic brand tires, because they want to "buy American," and install them on their imported cars...

Only in America... the budgets for advertising non-essential items, like soft drinks, exceed the economies of many third-world nations...

Only in America... do we use the word politics to describe the process so well. Poli in latin meaning many and tics meaning blood sucking creatures...