Making Your Woman Happy

[82Rigger]

MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to all men: MAKE THE
WOMAN HAPPY. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something
she dislikes and points are subtracted. You DON'T get any points for doing
something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a
guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-5)

...With her in it (-15)


You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)

....In the rain (+8)

But return with beer (-25)



You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with a baseball bat (+10)

It's her cat (-20)


SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)

...Named Mary (-4)

Mary is a dancer (-6)

Mary has silicon implants (-80)


HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)

Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
the colors of your favourite team (-10)


A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)


YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts (-30)

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8,000)


THE 'BIG' QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?".... and you look (-10)

You hesitate in responding (-15)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Any other response besides NO (-20)




COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what
looks like a concerned expression (0)

You listen for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10,000)

[Jerry D]

Thats a good one

[goodnessgracie]

In what parallel universe might I find such a man as would adhere to these rules?

I shall have to warp there soon...

[Gimpy]

darlin.

There ain't NO SUCH feller in ANY Universe-----parallel or otherwise!

[b3196]

Gracie
Im here for ya
Bob K