Words Women Use

[revwardoc]

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and youneed to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only fiveminutesif you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the gamebeforehelping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you shouldbeon your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "FINE!"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement oftenmisunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot andwonders why sheis wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to aman."That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before decidinghow and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you'rewelcome.

WHATEVER
It's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!

[Boats]

Yep - you must be married too - the words are common in their dictionary - ever notice how quickly we who were for a brief moment in charge are now doing more than ever. I don't know how that happen but now I've got an endless Honey Do list that is perpetually growing each week. I can chip off two or three only to see four or five more on the list.

[Robert Ryan]

Definetly know that nothing the calm before the storm.

[Bill Farnie]

Then there are the NO-WIN questions that women ask ?? such as;

Does this dress make me look fat? (Or just, do I look fat?)

What would you do if I died?

Chose your answer VERY carefully

[revwardoc]

One of the things my wife does that drives me crazy is when we're going out somewhere; I'll ask, "Are you ready?" She'll answer, "Yes (pause). I just have to...."

I don't understand that! The question is worded for a yes-or-no answer and I get an addendum.

[colmurph]

My (live in) girlfriend came into the bathroom this morning while I was taking a shower and told me that she was not happy with the size of her boobs and wanted me to pay for "Augmentation". I told her to rub some toilet paper between them and they would grow. She asked me how long it would take and I told her "a couple of years". She stood in front of the mirror a few minutes and then said "how can you be sure of that?"

I said, "It worked on your butt didn't it?"











I'm sleeping on the couch now.

[Stick]

The one that I have the biggest problem with isn't listed. It can only be stated at 120+ decibles and about 2 octives above normal speach and goes something like this; "John"

[QM3steve]

Bill,
The answer to the "dress" is NOT; "it's not the dress."