Goodbye, Viet Nam
Wow, I didn't know you guys existed! I did a Yahoo! search on the title of a poem I wrote in 1999 called "Goodbye, Viet Nam" so I could forward it to a recent acquaintance, and I found a question about its authorship on this forum. How wierd is that?
I spent three years, one month, five days, twelve hours and seven minutes in the US Army. I started out as a Teletype Repairman and ended up a Signal Corps First Lieutenant. I was in Germany until my assignment to Viet Nam in 1968. I was there until April 1969.
Fast forward thirty years and I found myself in a treatment center in California with problems with drugs and alchohol. Big surprise, huh? In that environment of psychological counseling and self discovery I had a revelation.
During a lecture, one of the couselors made reference to Lt. Dan from the movie, "Forrest Gump". I wigged out. See, my wife made me go to see the movie when it first came out. She had seen it with a friend and thought I would enjoy it. I did, at first; run, Forrest, run: box of chocolates, and all that. Then, sitting in that darkened theater, the scenes from Viet Nam with Bubba came on and I froze in my seat. I gripped the arms of the seat so hard I bet my fingerprints are still there. I couldn't move. The shelling and sights and sounds triggered something in me I thought I had buried long before. I sat still as a corpse for the rest of the movie and was churning inside. When we finally left the theater, I said, "Don't you ever do that to me again!" She had no idea what she had done. She knew I didn't like movies about Viet Nam, but forgot about those scenes.
The reference to Lt. Dan just revived those same feelings in a place where they could surface and be acknowledged. Luckily, there were understanding counselors there and a staff member from nearby Ft. Pendelton who recognized the symptoms. That was the first time I heard about PTSD.
I sat and wrote "Goodbye, Viet Nam" in basically one sitting, with few revisions. I find it easier to express myself in writing. There's a good presentation of it at (I had a link here, but I'm not allowed to reference a link until I have made fifteen posts, so I attached it as a doc). If anyone would like me to send them a copy, email me. I have others, too.
I have been clean and sober since 1999 and have been to my local Vet Center for counseling and to the VA Hospital for evaluation. Still, it took six years to get recognition from the VA of my diagnosis of PTSD. That was a milestone in itself on my road to recovery. I'm a little better now, but it still kicks my ass when I least expect it.
Thank God for the Vet Center and the people there who understand and care. If you have one near you and you feel you need help, don't put it off! Call and get an appointment.
Welcome Home Brothers!
Never Forget!
Terry
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