The Miracle Of Toilet Paper
 

Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, she gets a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.

"How long will this take?" she asks.

"They will grow larger over a period of years," her husband replies.

She stops. " Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"

Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

The husband is still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again.

Stupid, stupid man!!

She was probably using John Wayne toilet paper........ it don't take no $hit from anybody !

After recovering
 

The husband read the book "The Man Of The House" That evening he addressed his wife in a strong and forcefull manner.
Tomorrow when I get home I want my favorite supper ready at promptly 6 PM. At 8PM I want bath drawn and ready. The wife just looked at him with arms folded across her chest. Just prior to going to bed I want my pajamas laid out on the bed and my clothes ready for tomorrow. Do you understand? The wife just nodded her head and went to the phone. The husband asked who she was calling. The fucking undertaker she replied, I need to know if you old suit will do.

A young mother, very pregnant, was towelling off from her shower while 6 year old Melissa watched from the bathroom doorway.

"You're getting big, Mommy.", said Melissa

"Yes, dear," said Mommy, "but you remember that you and I talked about that."

"I explained that Mommy has a little baby growing in her tummy, and as the little baby grows, Mommy gets bigger."

"Yeah, Mom,", said Melissa, "I understand that."

"But what have you got growing in your butt?"

Having survived the
 

"man of the house" incident the husband decided to buy his wife a mood ring for their anniversary. "this way I'll know when she is in a bad mood". After several weeks of wearing it he found out that when she was in a good mood the ring turned a beautiful deep green color, When she was not, it turned into a big red spot on his forhead.

Frisco...
 

Loved your no doubt true story.
Truly seemed quite realistic and factual.

However, I'm have to tell you that after my
wife also read same,...she thinks you're some
low-life, degenerate and perverted wise-ass.
Hey,...those are her words. Not mine.

Sorry, Robert. But, if you can ever figure out
why some women aren't good sports regarding
men making disparaging comments or remarks
about so many having rhino, hippo or water buffalo
type butts,...you're a better man than I.

I sure-as-hell can't figure it out.
And besides, that's what honesty is all about.
Isn't it? :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Neil

Neil
 

Your wife is a pretty much spot-on judge of character. But then, she could say that about just about any paratrooper and be pretty close to the mark :D :D .