Afternoon Humor!
 

Subject: News Headlines!


Kingsville Record-News
"Sheriff Fines Cheney $100 For Only Wounding Lawyer"


National Review Online
"Red States Poll Shows Cheney Shooting Was Justifiable"


Dallas Morning News
"Shot Came From Grassy Knoll"


Austin American-Statesman
"Cheney Says Victim's Quail Call Was Best He Ever Heard"


Washington Post
"Cheney Prevents Hunting Party From Field Dressing Shooting Victim"


The Nation
"Cheney Drove Shooting Victim to Hospital Tied to The Hood of His Car"


San Antonio Express/News
"Sneaky Lawyer Tactics Don't Work On Cheney"


Houston Chronicle
"Personal Injury Lawyers Hold Candlelight Vigil Outside Cheney Victim Hospital"


Wyoming Tribune Eagle
"Cheney Friends Decline Fall Duck Hunting Invitation"


La Raza
"Cheney Shooting Victim Gets Emergency Room Priority Over Illegal Aliens"


Vegan News
"Cheney Shooting Victim Converts To Vegetarian In Hospital"


NRA American Rifleman
"Witnesses Claim Cheney Only Feathered Lawyer"


New Orleans Times Picayune
"Getting 'Dicked' Has All New Meaning"

LOL :D

WASHINGTON, D.C. - A White House source stated that Congress is considering awarding Vice-President Dick Cheney the Medal of Freedom, the national highest civilian commendation, for his act of bravery in shooting an attorney.

The source was quoted to say " All Americans have wanted to shoot a lawyer at one time or another and Cheney actually had the guts to do it".

In a related story, the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department, which issues hunting licenses, said that it will start requiring hunters, wishing to bag a lawyer, to have the new "lawyer's stamp" on their hunting license. Currently Texas hunters are required to carry stamps for hunting birds, deer, and bear, at a cost of $7 annually. The new "lawyers stamp" will cost $100, but open season will be all year long.

The department further stated that although the "lawyers stamp" comes at a hefty price, sales have been brisk and it is believed it will generate annual revenues in excess of $3 billion dollars the first year. Other states are considering similar hunting license stamps.

just a side note* Today in the Sports section of the Florida Times Union they had an article on Quail Hunting and the owners of the Farm near Athens, Ga stated that the VP and the Lawyer both made a mistake while hunting unfortunately for them, they both did it at the same time......

You know what goes clip-clomp-bang-bang, clip-clomp-bang-bang?





(An Amish drive-by shooting) :D

A Sign in a window of a Philadelphia area business:

"WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 AL QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE SINGLE AMERICAN"


This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Philadelphia.

You are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement. One would think that anti-hate groups from all across the country would be marching on this business . . and that the National Guard might have to be called to keep the angry crowds back.

But, perhaps in these stressful times one might be tempted to let the proprietors simply make their statement . .

We are a society which holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty. And after all, it is just a sign.
You may ask what kind of business would dare post such a sign?




Answer: A Funeral Home
(Who said morticians had no sense of humor ?)

Gracie,
 

My Dear Sweet Gracie,

The Amish are pacifists. They don't carry any kind of weapons. They would be insulted at your post, except they don't use computers either.

Keith :D

Well, maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to go hunting with Dick Cheny, and we all know that it's dangerous to play golf with Ford, but.............would any of you accept a ride home from Ted Kennedy?

Well, maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to go hunting with Dick Cheney, and we all know that it's dangerous to play golf with Ford, but.............would any of you accept a ride home from Ted Kennedy?

I'd accept a ride with Ted anyday. Ever since his little demolition-derby with the Chappy bridge, he's had a chauffeur.