One Linners
 

ONE-LINERS:
? A bird in hand is safer than one overhead.

? Any system which relies on human reliability is unreliable.

? Doing it the hard way is always easier.

? Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?

? The tennis shoes you must replace today will go on sale next week.

? Inside every small problem is a larger problem struggling to get out.

? I majored in Liberal Arts. Will that be for here or to go?

? Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.

? You get the most of what you need the least.

? Leakproof thermoses -- will.

? The most heavily traveled streets spend the most time under construction.

? Good enough never is.

? Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.

? Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.

? You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time.

? You! Off my planet!

? Sick children recover miraculously when the pediatrician enters the treatment room.

? Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.

? Bottomless pit of needs & wants.

? Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.